約3ヶ月ぶりに船に乗る…
そして今回乗る船は、2年ぶりです。
まだ4日だが…心身ともヘトヘトです。
情けなさ、悔しさ、絶望感、怒り、いろいろ
な気持ちが巡り巡って来る。
全くの素人で始めて船に乗った時と大した
変わらない…
何一つ成長していない…
何故なんだろう… 本当のアホなのか。
出来ないなら人の2倍やればいいと言われ事
あったけど。
しまいには、やる気がないだと言われる。
毎日ノートを書き、パソコンでまとめて
積み上げてきた結果がこれ…
情けないというしかない。
でも私には夢がある。
夢を叶えたくて船に乗った、チャレンジした
ここで断念したら夢は叶わなくなる気がする
年齢的に体力も若さもない。 何で勝負するの
か？ 経験と言いたいが、それもない。
馬鹿だかとか？ アホだかとか？若いやつに
言われ…
それを我慢し… 1歩ずつ、1歩ずつ前に進み
そして2歩下がり…
また、1歩ずつ前に足を踏み出すしかない…
他の人になることも出来ないし… 誰かに
助けてもらう事も出来ない。
諦めた時が終わりなんだろう…
スポンサードリンク
司厨一本でやっていくんですか？
甲板か機関の仕事覚えた方が給料も良いし楽ですよ、司厨は一番きついと思うんですけど
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